Stay Away: An Infectious Heart

What do you do when the world is your enemy
the pain of not knowing what to do or where to go
the riveting heartbreak of rejections swallowed up by your pride in awaiting better days
I sit at the edge of my existence and I cry
leaping into free-fall, I dive head-first into questionable territory
within the darkness of my own soul, I swim aimlessly towards something
something, yeah, something
I scream for sanity in the destruction of my self
who am I and what do I do
I unfold myself from fantasy and find reality so bittersweet
where do I go from here
what path must I go down to get somewhere, far from here
unable to maintain consciousness sometimes, I fall to sleep to escape this
pain, confusion, chaos
and so frequently, we gather our broken-ness and talk about the inadequacies within our lives
and I listen to you, tasting the bitterness of your experiences while you taste mine’s
in the absence of your presence,
I find barricades around me
walls, bars
I would do anything to become enticed by our moments of happiness

and like most days, nowadays, I disconnect

from you

and the others

The world is madness and I am needy of truth
and mama told me to search for my answers last night

answers that may take a life-time to gather
so, what do I do in the mean-time?

do I continuously carve out my heart and give it
to you
and the others

I may infect you and the others with my disease
transmit my uncertainties, my questions, my doubts, my chaos

and like me, you and the others, may find yourselves needy like me
searching a lifetime for answers to questions unanswered

so, I am standing at the edge of my existence
Looking over, preparing to leap into free-fall, and dive head-first into questionable territory

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