Life happens to all of us. None of us are freed from the happenings of life- good or bad. We all are dealing with various circumstances and issues. One of the things that can make life a little easier is the attitude that we have about it. Many of us tend to fold up and suffer mentally because of our situations. However, our mentality is the one thing that can change a whole situation from unbearable to bearable.
In my experience with homelessness, I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt worthless. I felt disowned as a participant of society. I felt lost. However, it was when I was homeless that I handed my life to God. I needed hope. I needed someone to love me and to tell me that everything was going to be okay despite my circumstances. I remembered writing to God in the bathroom about my mental state. I felt marginalized. I felt scared. I never told my parents how I felt because I knew they were trying to deal with homelessness in their own way. So, I knew that at 15 years old that I had to be a big girl. I had to change my outlook on our situation. I was in despair. I remembered my parents getting us a room for a night at this motel that was known for prostitution. I don’t know if they knew it, but I remembered hearing about it on television. I hated being there. It was only for one night, but I cringed at the thought of being in a place known for prostitution. I didn’t say anything because my parents were trying with the little that they had. We were barely surviving. We had nothing, but each other.
The biggest part of changing our outlook on things is having a support system in some form. I felt close to my parents and my brother during this time, but there was tension. You could feel the thickness of the air. It was always this feeling of not knowing what was next. We were living out our lives day-by-day. However, we tried to keep close to each other. I didn’t have friends to talk to because we were constantly moving to find shelter. So, I relied on God and my family. It was a situation that I don’t wish for anyone. As time went by, I would frequent the local library during the day-time until my parents picked me up, along with my younger brother. I met some girls my age that I would see and meet often. They would play with me and invite me to their mosque. In trying to find an outlet and God, I would learn things from these girls and their mom. It was comforting because I could hold onto some form of happiness, despite my innermost feeling of despair. So, I took these girls as a support system. They never knew my situation, but they helped me in too many ways to count. They were a blessing. They provided me with love and happiness when I felt unloved and scared of the world.
So, the quote that is presented at the very beginning is very true. It’s not the load, but the way we carry it. Homelessness is a huge issue and its prevalent in many cities, but through a change of mentality about it you can get through it. It’s hard. It’s scary, but perils will always be present in our lives. We just have to know how to deal with them as they come. I found happiness and love during my homelessness. If you just have one person that cares and loves you then you’re on a roll. Sometimes you just have to have hope. You have to have faith. You have to know that your situation is temporary.