“There are always new sounds to imagine, new feelings to get at. And always, there is the need to keep purifying these feelings and sounds so that we can really see what we’ve discovered in its pure state so that we can see more and more clearly what we are. In that way, we can give to those who listen the essence, the best of what we are. But to do that at each stage, we have to keep on cleaning the mirror” – John Coltrane, On Meditations
Last night, one of my friends called me about this exact issue of ‘seeing things clearly’. The conversation was extensive and definitely necessary . In many of our lives, we may find ourselves experiencing happiness and satisfaction, but we may end up doubting the happiness that we feel. We sometimes try to put up an excuse for why we can’t have the happiness that is currently in our lives. We actually try to rationalize why we aren’t good enough to to have happiness, have pleasure and be content. We always feel as if something will go wrong, as if happiness is always accompanied with bad.
So, I sat back listening to my friend for a good hour about the nature of human-happiness. As individuals, we are always seeking happiness. We are. We are always experiencing new feelings, sounds and smells. There is nothing wrong with this. Why can’t we become thankful individuals and just celebrate what we’re experiencing? There is no need to feel guilty for the pleasure that we feel from:
5. Romantic partners
As I sat through our conversation, I could feel the pain(s) of my friend’s struggle in accepting happiness. There are many things that I have heard from people in my life in regards to happiness. I have heard that one must not ‘please themselves sexually,’ ‘get praised for being a good person,’ ‘ live it up,’ and etc. Why do we set limitations on ourselves? What is the point to all of this? I’m sorry, but if I am not stepping on the toes of the next person then I am going to enjoy life. If someone want to indulge in eating cupcakes all day and night then be my guest. If someone would like to run miles to relieve stress then go at it. If someone enjoy masturbation then have at it.
The simple thought that we must regulate the next person’s life and their happiness is saddening. I’ve seen and experienced this kind of regulation. It’s oppressive and painful. Live and let live. Go out and live the life that you’ve always wanted. You can do it alone, with someone else or just with the universe around you. Take the world by the hand and live. Smile a little bit. Make love to the air. Laugh with a chuckle that extends to far and distant lands. Let the sun kiss you with its rays. Just experience new sounds, feelings, and sensations.
Never hold back from happiness. Never let anyone tell you that you should feel bad about the bliss that you are experiencing because we all know that tough times can drag us down and keep us down. So, when you have found your source of happiness then cling to it for dear life.
Finally, to wrap it all up in a few words: “It’s not that everything will be easy or exactly as you had expected, but you must just choose to be grateful for all that you have, and happy that you got a chance to live this life, no matter how it turns out.”
Assalamu alaykom ,
I absolutely love my friends and can say they are all unique. I think I underestimated the diversity of my friends. I never knew how beautiful they all are in their own ways. I think sometimes we overlook people and never really see what makes them special. This may be apart of how Allah always tell us that he will take away the most dearest of things away from us in order to test us. When he takes away these things, I begin to truly appreciate the things we are given. However, is His taking away of these things another reason for us to truly find beauty in whatever we are given?
I know many parents with children, but they never really spend time with them. They work very hard, alhumdulilah but they aren’t there. They never take out time to know their child(ren). However, a parent will mostly likely say that they are just working so that their children can have what they didn’t have. Unfortunately, many children don’t understand that concept. All that most children know is that their parents aren’t there. And most parents would be saddened if anything was to happen to their baby girl and boy. I guess this just makes us recognize how important time is. Allah calls himself time. Allah is time. He is the controller of time. And at anytime He can take away things and people from us.
And by realizing this, I appreciate my friends. They are my supporters and helpers. They strengthen me and give me guidance. They provide me with laughter when I am sad and reality when I am stuck in romanticism. They connect me to a deeper-me. They make me see realities that I may not be aware of. And being around friends like this is just a blessing. It make you realize that the world is not just about you. It make you appreciate the diversity that is definitely apparent…or maybe not so apparent. I am very happy to have the friends that I have. I love them so much. And I appreciate them. I have learnt so much from them. It’s my only hope that I am a good of a friend to them as they are to me. They are just truly beautiful inside and out.
We all were Muslimahs
about worldly things
But I wanted something
I wanted to know about me
about this deen
I struggled in wanting you guys to help me
to guide me
I was invited to my 1st Eid party
the music was playing
the girls took off their hijabs
the women were plucking their eyebrows
the henna was being applied
I looked around
You invited me to your home
you invited her girls
kafr and muslim
they danced the night away with the music
I wanted someone to help me
to guide me
I was Muslim, but that wasn’t enough
I wrote you notes asking to help me
to guide me
you never responded back to my calls
I suggested we all pray at school since there was no time after
Only 1 sister came, but soon left me because she was scared to be singled out amongst the others
I quickly realized that having friends meant more than having just Muslimahs
but having ones that can increase your faith
I didn’t know then
I didn’t understand why
But when I am told to choose them wisely
Now I now
Our friends can either make or break up
Our friends can either want this dunya or want the hereafter
I have fewer friends before
But enough to say I am strong upon my deen
to know that a friend should be one to motivate you
to guide you
to signal out to you that this world is short and temporary
and there is no time
for the believer to spend it on the worldly life