Mere Seduction That Night

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It was one of those nights

We were ready to feast on each other sinfully, without regrets

Closing the door behind us, he looked at me with passion, a burning passion

And the slightest touch of our hands and our bodies became intimacy

A racing heart, increasing temperature, hungry, and needy

I watched the way he turned towards me with a glance that would entice

Grabbing a hold of my waist from behind with a slow-grind 

The moon’s gaze sneaked too many peeks upon this love affair

Without words, he guided me to the next room, unclothed his goddess

and I watched in admiration the unclothing of this most heavenly being

the night smelled of seduction and fiery passion

we became engulfed in the joining, the meeting of two hearts, two bodies

the darkness swallowed us whole without respite

this Gringo, this lover of Mexican-culture, whispered words of love, of passion, en espanol

“Te Amo, mi morenita!”

his words reaped of desire, unadulterated passion

where did he learn this foreplay?

what goddess invited him to worship love in this way? 

“te quiero”

and my body shook in want, in need of this gift-offering

he had come to my temple to worship

and I giggled in ecstasy

in madness, in anger, in uncontrollable anger

why did I not feel guilty in this?

should not the feeling of intense pleasure satisfy me

I was hungry, frustrated, in need of this

of him

of what he wanted to offer

“Halal Sex” and Seeking Marriage as the Cure

Marriage

One topic that is always in demand is marriage. There is always room at the dinner-table, in the mosque, at a gathering, or even at a wedding to discuss marriage. Unfortunately, the topic of marriage typically include the references of “halal sex” and “fornication”. You’re probably asking me to clarify what I meant by that last statement. Yes, allow me to elaborate. In many communities, the act of getting married is praised because it is a ‘halal’ way to engage in sexual-relations without the sin of fornication, especially when it comes to the youth. However, the notion that one must get married only for the sake of engaging in sex is problematic. If one was to ask any husband or wife if sex is the end-all or be-all of a marriage than one will quickly understand that sex isn’t going to provide the substance to keep the relationship together. No, I am not saying that sex isn’t important but it definitely isn’t the end-all or be-all of a marriage. Additionally, if one went into a marriage solely for the intention of dealing with their sexual urges than is one really cognizant about the purpose of marriage? Is marriage only about the exchange of a husband and wife fulfilling each other sexually? Or is there more than that?

I’m not here to define or outline anyone’s marriage, but if one was to seek marriage as this magical cure in dealing with sexual urges than this seems shallow. Yes, if one was to get married and indulge in sex then it is ‘halal’ or lawful. Additionally, it is even rewarded by Allah(God) since it is done in a lawful way. However, if one is seeking to only get married for the sole purpose of having sex then what about afterwards? Where does one go once their sexual-needs are satisfied? Unfortunately, the rhetoric geared towards the youth about marriage is more problematic because many youths feel that marriage is their ticket for ‘halal sex’. And I’ve heard numerous times how it would benefit the youth to get married young in order to protect themselves from falling into fornication. Yes, I agree that sex outside of marriage is a major sin in Islam and it can lead to corruptions within societies. However, if the youth is filled with this belief that once they get sexual-urges they should get married then how is this fair to them once they get married and see that marriage is more than sex?

Recently, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with a dear friend about this topic. Many of the Muslim youth are groomed from a young age to value marriage and the beauty of it, but on the other-hand many are given this romanticized view that marriage is their outlet for sexual-frustration. For many of us, we understand that marriage comes with tons of responsibilities and obligations. Additionally, marriage is a place in which the couple can grow individually and together as a couple. Not only grow, but to strive Islamically for paradise. However, does the youth grasp this concept if they are being told constantly that the only way they can have sex is if they get married? Now, I must be fair in this depiction of marriage. I do believe that some parents explain that marriage is not a joke or just a place for sex. However, I’ve always found it, more times than not, that the youth is pushed to get married when they have sexual urges. Yes, I believe in many Western societies that there is an issue of hyper-sexuality happening and occurring right before our eyes, thus the youth is being exposed to sexuality on a daily basis in various ways. Nonetheless, this notion that once a kid gets sexual-feelings is ready for marriage is incorrect. Once we hit the age of puberty or even before, we can experience those urges. However, it doesn’t mean we are ready for marriage or can even grasp the seriousness of marriage.

In saying all of this, I don’t believe that marriage is a cure for horny youth. If anything, the youth should understand the various dimensions of marriage and all that it entails. I’m definitely not advocating fornication, but I am advocating education and a serious talk about sex. It isn’t fair for the youth to feel inclined towards marriage just because they can satisfy their desires because there are a long line of other issues that comes from marriage. And we have to ask if marriage is even appropriate at this point if the young man or woman is only focused on sex. We’ve heard numerous times that sex doesn’t sustain a relationship and isn’t going to hold-up a relationship if there isn’t a general connection between the two spouses.

What exactly does it show the youth that they can easily get married to have ‘halal sex’? Does it really give them the right image of marriage? Does it show them that there is responsibility attached to this choice? Does this truly show them the value of marriage? If anything, it gives the youth this stunted image that marriage is all about the sex. So, if this is the case then does the value of people ever come into play? Are people just places for imposing our sexual desires upon? So, if I knew that my general interest in getting married was to just have sex then this would force me to take a step back to ask some important questions.

1. Do I really understand the purpose of marriage?
2. What am I going to do after the sex is over?
3. Do I truly value this potential spouse as a whole or just as an outlet for my sexual urges?
4. Am I being selfish in thinking that I can be satisfied with only wanting sex out of marriage?

I’ve had so many instances in which I have heard the youth or older individuals saying that they want to get married just for the sex. Of course, they would never come out and blatantly say that, but the message got across. The only reason they wanted to get married was being they had those ‘urges’ and because they wanted to not fall into fornication. In these initial reasons for wanting to get married there wouldn’t be any claim of wanting to be with someone to share their lives with, to grow with religiously or etc. I guess my issue is simply about the notion of ‘halal sex’ and using marriage as a tool into getting it. We all have undergone those years of raging hormones, but we eventually get over it. We understand that these ‘raging’ hormones are just that…raging. However, it doesn’t necessitate for us to believe we can’t control ourselves. However, if someone believe they are ready to get married then go for it. This is ultimately a personal-choice and everyone has that right. However, we shouldn’t seek to find a cure to our ‘raging’ hormones by simply wanting to be with someone for sex. It just makes me wonder about the end results of this act of getting ‘halal sex’ in a marriage and realizing that sex was all you really wanted. So,it just makes me ask if someone really values or even understand marriage if they just wanted to have sex.

Like always, you are always welcomed to email me or comment. Just some thoughts about marriage and sex.

The Islamic-Perspective: Am I Really Sinful For Loving Outside of Marriage? Are There Multiple Ways to Love in Islam?

This thing called love is one that penetrates deeply for everyone. This emotion, action, concept, need or want is seen throughout all cultures. This thing called love is so special that it is needed and wanted by every single person. I will not limit this conversation about love nor seek to define love. However, it is important to ask ourselves, “What is love?”. Why do so many of us frequent this topic in our conversations, social-circles, music, literature, and etc? What does it mean to yearn for love? Is love about being with another person? Is it about having someone there to listen to you? Is it about having respect for another individual? Is it about being with someone intimately? What is it? In thinking about all of the ways in which we display love or go about in loving, what defines love? One of the many things that I hear, see and read about is this notion that love is only possible in the marital-bond. Love must not be before. Love must be within marriage and if one experiences love before marriage than it’s sinful. I’ve always wondered why people would say that. How does love become boxed up in one category? Why is love such a narrow thing for so many people? Maybe we should analyze this thing called love and figure out if it is truly sinful to love outside of marriage. In Islam, love comes in various forms that isn’t restricted within the marital-bond and these various forms of love is required of all Muslims.

In the Islamic-tradition, love can come about in various ways. It isn’t restricted to just marriage. Furthermore, it isn’t something that one would have to wait for in the marital-bond. The prophet Muhamamd(peace be upon him) said: “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you will not enter Paradise unless you believe, and you will not believe unless you love each other.Should I direct you to something that if you constantly did it, you would love each other? Spread the greetings of peace among you.” [Muslim]. In this context, what does it mean to love someone for the sake of Allah? It simply means to love them for the good that Allah sees in them. This person could be charitable, kind, generous, and etc. These are good qualities that are praised in Islam because Allah loves them. So, we could indeed love another Muslim man or Muslim woman for the good that they do. Furthermore, this love isn’t necessarily in a marital-bond. So, what kind of love are we talking about in the marital-bond? What makes the marital-bond different? Is this a differenty type of love?

In Islam, marriage is a bond in which two individuals come together and become lawful for one another. They are lawful for one another physically and lawful for one another in the context of being alone together as a man and woman. It is from this bond that families are created and companions grow together in their knowledge, their understanding of the religion and their love for each other. In showing the context of this specific love, I would like to pinpoint one of the verses that are commonly read for one’s nikkah (contract). It specifically states the type of love that is different from the first type of love that I spoke about in regards to having a brotherly/sisterly love. In order to understand this verse of the Qur’an, I have chosen to give the Arabic transliteration and the English translation.

Wamin ayatihi an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwajan litaskunoo ilayha wajaAAala baynakum mawaddatan warahmatan inna fee thalika laayatin liqawmin yatafakkaroona

And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (Surah 30 Ayat 21)

This love is specifically mutual, it’s one of giving and receiving and it’s one in which Allah places between the spouses. Allah is telling those that are seeking to be in the marital-bond that he will place between the spouses a rahma, a mercy and mawaddata, a mutual love. This mawaddata is a proper love. A love that is affectionate. Furthermore, this love is specific to the ties held within the marital-bond and can only be sought after in the marital-bond.

Another form of love in Islam is to love Allah and the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) more than anyone or anything else.

It is narrated by Anas bin Malik : The Prophet said, “Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:

1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah’s sake.
3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire.” (Sahih Bukhari)

In this form of love, there is obedience and required knowledge in order to truly love Allah and the prophet Muhammad. Allah is the creator of the heavens and the Earth and everything in between. The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the example in which Muslims follow and is guided by in living their lives. And in order for someone to truly grasp faith, one must love Allah and his prophet before themselves and others. This love calls for an individual to set aside their own desires while striving to do what is acceptable to Allah and his prophet.

Also, Islam calls for one to have love for parents. It is in this love that a child honors their parent(s), respects them and consoles them in their later stages of life especially.

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor reprimand them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” [Surah: Bani Isra’il (17); Ayah 23 , 24]

Allah tells everyone that apart of faith is loving and being dutiful to one’s parents. Why? Well, we were all babes, young and in need of someone to help us when we were helpless. We needed someone to be patient with us and to be there for us. We simply can’t say that our parents didn’t play a role in our lives. Yes, for some of us we didn’t have parents there so we give this due love to whatever individual gave it to us. And in this, we are humble and we lower our wings to that person or those persons. We thank them for being there and for helping us.

In addition, Islam doesn’t restrict love to just individuals or the creator, but Islam commands individuals to love animals. Not only love animals, but to honor them. Many people do not take this seriously because they somehow believe that animals are separate from other living things and entities. However, this is not the case in Islam. Islam has strongly prohibited torture, hatred, abuse and mistreatment of all living things, including animals. It is from the Islamic-tradition that we learn that animals should be resepected, loved and treated kindly.

It was narrated by Abu Hurayrah the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told his companions of the virtue of saving the life of a dog by giving it water and quenching its thirst. One story referred to a man who was blessed by Allaah for giving water to a thirsty dog, the other was a prostitute who filled her shoe with water and gave it to a dog, who had its tongue lolling out from thirst. For this deed she was granted the ultimate reward, the eternal Paradise under which rivers flow, to live therein forever. [Muslim]

As individuals, we should be mindful that love comes in so many forms and one form of love is by remembering our four-legged friends. We should remember those friends that may crawl on their tummies, swim in swamps, climb trees, or just like to lay lazily on the lawn. This is a love that is truly humbling because it makes us recognize that life isn’t restricted to just humans, but to all things in which there is life.

So, after reading all of this…what is love? I haven’t quite defined love. I have shown various forms of love and what to love, but necessarily what is love? Why does Islam preach about loving: parents, animals, spouses, friend, and others? Why does love bring us so close to others? Why does love make us draw near to that which is good…in most instances? What is good? Well, in Islam good is defined by Allah and the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). So, what exactly is love? I’m not sure if I have the answer to that question. This thing called love is one that I do not believe can be defined because of its abstraction. It is in this thing called love that people grow to learn about themselves and others. Love comes in so many forms and is given/received in so many ways, yet many of us are constantly trying to box up a sure definition of love. In love, we can all agree that we somehow feel grounded, complete and nearer to others. Maybe this discussion on love isn’t fulfilling anything that are seeking on the topic of love. However, how does one start a conversation about something that is very much abstract? How can we even start to define love?

Dealing with Identity: Who are you? Are you REALLY You?

A question I am thinking about is this: “What does it mean to be you?”

Let’s think about that for a second. People think about this. Some people may not care, but its a big question. Who are you? What makes you the person you are? What does it mean to be the person that you are? If you’re from there are you expected to be like that? If you’re from here are you expected to be like this? If you’ve done that then are you expected to go through that? What does it mean to be a mother? What does it mean to be a mother when you never had a mother there to teach or guide you? What does it mean to be a father? What does it mean to be a father when your father was everything except for a father? What does it mean to be a Muslim? Does it mean you fit into a stereotypical role that one think they should play in order to be accepted within their communities? What does it mean to be a Muslim man/a Muslim woman? Does it mean you drop your culture/your language in order to pick up something else? What does it mean to be a woman/a man? What does it mean to be with another person in a marriage? Does it mean must be exactly alike?

In dealing with these big questions on identity, it is important to figure them out. Yes, there are more questions to be asked about identity so ask them. Ask yourself. Sometimes we fall into these superficial roles of just being who we are told to be. We just do what culture tells us. We just do what others expect of us. However, who are we? Am I really me? Or am I just what I was told to be? Or am I the person I want people to think I am? Am I putting on a front? Or am I really me? Am I really the person I am choosing to be? And how do I choose to be that person? What things make me who I am? And is that okay? Or not? These questions are all dealing with you. These questions are dealing with me. These questions are dealing with all of us. We can choose who we want to be. No other person can make that choice, but you. You are the author and the composer of your own life. You are the individual pulling out the pen and marking up your own sheet of paper. You are putting the notes down to this sheet of music. You are the lyricist to that song. This is you. You are the one holding the pen to that piece of paper. So, ask yourself “Who am I?”. In asking myself this question, I thought about something my mother told me this morning.

Today, my mom was like “Lauren, I don’t think marriage is about the man doing one thing and the woman doing another. Sometimes you have to do multiple things at once” and I agreed with her. So many times I would always say how simple things were. Allah said the man is the breadwinner and so the woman should worry about the home. However, what does this statement mean? In the Islamic tradition, Hagar was left with just her son Ishmael in Mekkah fending for herself after prophet Abraham left her due to Allah’s command. So, at that moment she became a woman having to protect, provide and maintain for herself and her child. She became independent. She became every role possible because it was necessary. So, when we think about the people we are and the role(s) we are expected to put on it is important to think critically about this. We sometimes try to simplify our identities when they are constantly changing and intersecting with one another.

How does a young father in his early 20’s that hasn’t spoken to or been with his daughter for the first three years of her life deal with his own child upon seeing her for the first time? What does he say? What would be the reaction(s) of his baby-girl? How does he raise her upon his religion when the parent she spends time with is of another faith? How does he mend these realities? Is there a black-and-white answer? Should there be?

How does a mother in her early 30’s deal with the issues of identity when she has two children with a third on the way? How does she mend her broken past pains and confusion of who she is with her current situation? How does this soul-searching mother with a broken heart find her way in parenting children when the world has taken her heart and placed upon it it’s footprints of oppression and devastation?

How does a young woman in her 20’s deal with the issue of marriage and fornication when her parents are wanting her to finish school until taking that next step in her life? Does she continue to fight for her right to get married to preserve her honor and chastity? Or does she fall into her desires? Should she find a hobby?

How does a young man in his later teenage-years find purpose when he is blinded by the world and without a role-model to guide him through this journey of life? How do he mend the world of those around him with the reality of the world in which he lives? How does he find himself when his parents are struggling to survive and with a father that never taught him the roles/the rules of manhood? Does he find this manhood in music/a textbook/movies/magazines/ads on billboards?

What do an older woman in her 50’s do when her daughters encounter the same issues she is facing? How does this mother in her 50’s tell her daughters that their roles as women and wives aren’t simple and pinpointed in a manual? How does she guide her daughters as wives when she is still fighting the issues they are trying to solve themselves?

What does a man/woman do when they are stuck between their religion and their ethnic/cultural identity? Is this a problem? How do they sort through this? Is there really a problem between the two? How do they find themselves within this religious-community when they are expected to play out an identity that is not them? How do they sustain their inner-most being when those within the religious-community are fighting against them due to ignorance/racism/sexism? How do they go forth? How do they fight for their right to stay and be themselves without having to assimilate(to fit in/take on the identity of the people)? Should they risk being different and make their own mark or just fit in until there is progress?

When we look at the different problems that some of us face when it comes to identity it is important to look closely at ourselves. Why do many of us try to define definite roles to ourselves and others? When we look at the roles that we have to play as people it becomes hard and sticky. We can’t always play one role. We can’t always play two. Sometimes we have to play other’s roles. What do we do when we find ourselves playing another person’s role(s)? Is this okay? Is this problematic? Where do we begin if we are trying to figure this out?

Many times people tell us to stay in our place. To not think too much about things. To simply accept our roles and leave it at that. There are no questions. We should just sit and follow through with culture/religion without thinking further. Why is this an okay answer? One thing that Allah tells people is to ponder his signs and to look around. We are told to think and to use our reasoning skills. We should look at the world we live in and think about the various identities that makes it up. In these various identities there people from different backgrounds, races, cultures, languages and lifestyles. We have to sit down and ask ourselves the bigger questions that no other person can answer for us. It is only us when we come across these questions with answers that we can only give. It’s not the responsibility of others to show us who we are. It is only us to discover us and what it means to be us. Yes, we are inspired and influenced by others, but we have to know about us. We have to be sure in who we are or else we will never be okay with just thinking we think we think we think we know who we are. We have to atleast be okay with ourselves and acknowledge that as long as we are in the world we will continue to grow as people, inshALLAH.

And I think it is important to remember something and that something is a quote from Louis Armstrong.

Louis Armstrong said “What we play is life”

Marriage: Why the problems? Disconnect? Taboos? Choice?

Assalamu alaykom everyone,

It is easy to look at the stories of people’s marriages and get deterred from getting or going forth in being married. However, Allah and the example of the prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhe wasalam (peace be upon him) gives us the ideals of marriage and ways to go about in creating happy homes, families and marriages. Sometimes we have a rigid understanding of marriage and fall into believing that marriage can only occur at a certain place, in a certain time, with a certain person, and under certain guidelines. We don’t always look at Islam from a broad sense, but we sometimes limit ourselves due to parents, cultural, and societal norms. However, what does Islam say? What options do Islam give to us?

I believe this video by Khalid Latif is self-explanatory and informational. I believe this was the first lecture I have listened to that allows an individual to see the various ways of getting married. Also, it looks at realistic issues that are facing various Muslim communities. I think it is important for communities to have this conversation because many things are going unsaid about things that are happening on a day-to-day basis. The issues that we hear about and see are problematic because many of these issues are preventable and solvable. However, if we stay ignorant and close-minded to these realities then we can never solve the problems that we see and hear about within our communities.

Muslim Youth, Dating, Sexuality, Taboos and Marriage

Assalamu Alaykom,

One of the biggest issues that are occurring throughout many Muslim communities are Muslim-teenagers and young adults getting involved in ‘haraam’ relationships. These relationships develop out of a young man’s or a young woman’s desire in wanting to be with a companion. In being an American Muslim, it is quite troublesome to see the mass amount of sexuality throughout the media and on top of that there are imams, parents, and shuyookh that has disconnected with the realities of many Muslim-youths and adults. The remedy to a young man’s or young woman’s desire in being with a companion is not to tell them that talking to the opposite sex is haraam. No, this is not realistic in the least bit. In most Western societies, men and women communicate on a daily basis for a variety of reasons. Also, we must realize that Islam is a realistic way of life that has given guidance on everything. A Muslim is not in the dark when it comes to most topics because they are guided by the book of Allah and the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), so why are many Muslims indulging in dating?

First, we have to look at the Qur’an and the Sunnah when we are questioning such an issue.

Allah tells us in the Qur’an that he has created a mate for every one of us, thus leading us to acknowledge that the want of being with a companion is a natural feeling:

“And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best.” [Noble Quran 16:72]

However, this want or need is only restricted within the context of marriage to preserve morality within a society. So, how does one move from knowing that marriage is the only lawful option in being with the opposite sex? They proceed in the process of marriage, right? Of course. Furthermore, the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) even encouraged those that can get married to do so to prevent fitna(trouble, corruption) from arising throughout the lands. What are these issues? Fornication and dating. Why is it a problem to date?

Allah says in the interpretation of the meaning:

“And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.” (Sura Al-Israa # 17 ayah # 32)

So, in Islam it is known that steps that leads to fornication should be cut off for one to preserve their religion. So, if we understand this notion that fornication is a major sin and dating is a step towards fornication then why are people still dating when it is wrong? Great question.

The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said to the ummah (community):

“O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.” [Al-Bukhari]

The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is telling us the multiple reasons of why a person should get married. One of the many reasons that a person may date is because they are usually desirous of an individual, thus unable to lower their gaze. Also, it helps a person from going forth in engaging in sexual activity that would otherwise be reserved for marriage.

Also, It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

“When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.”

This hadith is apart of a bigger hadith that is in Sahih-Bukhari. The hadith in Sahih-Bukhari expounds on the meaning of “the other half”. The “other half” means to protect one’s tongue. The prophet Muhammad said: “If you can protect what is between your lips (your tongue) and your legs( your private parts) then you will be given paradise”.

So, once a person fulfills the act of getting married they are keeping themselves from engaging in illegal sexual activity because their mate have become lawful for them in having sexual intercourse. So, once a person protects one of the two things that the prophet Muhamamd told us of then it becomes important to go forth in protecting the tongue from slander, gossip, backbiting an etc.

Additionally, the prophet Muhammad continued to warn his nation about this issue of marriage by stating that:

Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, ‘When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.’ [Tirmidhi, Nasa’i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]

The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has not forgotten anything. Islam is so detailed in regards to this issue that the issues we are seeing today are the direct effects of what we aren’t doing throughout our Muslim communities. Islam doesnt deny any person the right to experiencing the natural feeling of wanting to be with another person of the opposite sex. This is not even the issue. However, the issue is when an individual do experience these feelings and feel like going forth in fulfilling their sexuality through unlawful means. It is very easy to tell someone to fear Allah, which is great advice, but if the dialogue about marriage isnt opened up and spoken about then it will remain a taboo among many Muslim families.

This taboo about sexuality and marriage for many families have led many Muslims, especially the young to indulge in unislamic relationships. The only way to mend these problems is to open up the dialogue. Anytime a male or female states they are seeking to get married then this issue is quite serious, especially if they are in their mid-teens, twenties and thirties. The dialogue must be honest, expansive and open. The topic of marriage is serious and important. All of those seeking to get married and those seeking to help in the marriage process should lay out the responsibilities, advantages, Islamic rulings, possible problems that would arise, and etc. The dialogue about marriage isn’t supposed to be sugar-coated or made to seem easy, but to simply inform the uninformed. If there are more open conversations about marriage then there will be less accounts of dating and unislamic relations between men and women.

So, open the conversation up in your local masjid, in your home, at your school and in your social-circles. Listen to those that wanting to fulfill half of their religion and wanting to seek out the lawful option in being with a companion. Make the conversation beneficial, realistic and worthwhile. Atleast the one thing that any person can do is to simply plant the seed of knowledge and allow it to blossom from there. Islam is a simple and beautiful way of life. So, allow Islam to be the guide and put your faith in Allah.

Her Secret Dance In India

Her feet dances among lilies and lotus flowers
Twirling in a saree that was deeply rooted in the roots of her heritage
A heritage lingering with the taste of freshly-made naan and Chai-tea
Embracing the sudden smell of biryani manifesting its way through her soul
Her smile becomes the centerpiece for her audience
Singing sweet ballads of love and destiny
Laughing and smiling as the sun kisses her soft caramel skin
Swaying to the tunes of chirping birds
Engaging in a continuous dance between her and the world
With her arms extending wide like the far-off horizon
Carrying the world on an intimate journey
As she revels in this secret corner of their own world
Alone
Embracing the world
Engulfed in the world
Free from the world
With her other half
Her Khaavand